The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia

I know that I usually blog about my own family, but this one is about someone else's.  I watched a documentary the other night about this family (clan would be more accurate) from Boone County, West Virginia.  The most notoriously rough and rowdy family in this area of Appalachia...........  And that's saying a lot considering this is the same area that spawned the Hatfields and McCoys.


This family is a bunch of hard-drinking, hard-livin' hillbillies.  They do drugs, sell drugs, drink copiously, fight regularly, kill occasionally, and spend a great deal of time in and out of courtrooms, hospitals and prisons.  Let's put it this way, even the law doesn't f@#k with the Whites in Boone County. They stay the hell outta the way.


I really don't know what fascinated me the most about these people.  Maybe the sight of the most famous member, Jesco White, dancing in his daddy's "horseshoe clogs" on a picnic table in front of the old homestead while Hank Williams III strums his guitar and sings a song he wrote about the White clan.  Or maybe it's the scene where daughter, Kirk, (Apparently, all the girls have boy's moninkers.  To, I suppose, give them a tougher appearance. Completely unnecessary, as these girls can hold their own in a bar fight) snorts Oxycotin in her hospital room only hours after giving birth.......  On second thought, it would have to be when Sue Bob, Mamie, Bo (that's another girl, btw), and Derek White smoke pot at Bertie Mae's 85th birthday party while the long-suffering clan matriarch sits under a portrait of Jesus Christ muttering, "Git that sh!t outta my house!" .................. No, no, wait! .............. The cherry on top of this nightmare of a cake would have to be ....... <drumroll> ........ hearing Kirk's (the daughter who was doing drugs in front of her newborn ... remember?) 5- year old son, Tylor, cussing like a sailor and telling his aunt to take him to find his dad so he could "kill that f*@king son of a b#tch!" ...... while in the family mini-van driving his mother to rehab........... 


I couldn't make this shit up.


I'd laugh if it weren't so tragic............. No, I take that back............. I was laughing despite my disbelief and horror................. I couldn't help myself.


What else can you do when the family mantra is (according to Maime) "Coming into this world is nothing, going out is nothing... but at least the world knows who the f&@k we are!"


And now you do too.


Check them out at: http://www.wildandwonderfulwhites.com/



"Add this remarkable movie to your must-see list."  - Variety


"[it is] the story of the Whites, the most badass family in West Virginia. They’re the Hatfields and McCoys all rolled into one, fired up on every pill in the medicine chest."  - New York Magazine


"The Appalachian clan is notorious for criminal activity and reckless, larger-than-life characters. They tap-dance, shoot and stab people (including each other), and sell (and do) a lot of drugs. Think Soprano smeets Coal Miner's Daughter." -  boingboing


"It’s a vividly nihilistic counterpoint to the reality-TV era..."  - Movieline

Jarrett Turns 6

Sorry I'm so late posting these.  My life feels like a scene from Alice in Wonderland lately ... topsy-turvy and chaotic.

Still, here are some photos of all the fun that was to be had.

He wanted a Ninjago themed party complete with decorations and costume attire, but he settled for a Lego party with a Ninjago cake (decorated by yours truly).

Party favors were a collection of some of the Boy's favorite things:  SweetTarts, Captain America and Star Wars stickers, Ninja miniatures, traditional party blowouts, and, last but not least, ......... whoopie cushions.

Here's hoping the kids' parents forgive me for that last one.

Spaghetti Carbonara

Forget Match.com or Cosmo quizzes.  

If you want to know if you are compatible with someone, cook with them.  

My husband and I have been married almost 8 years now, and we are like an old married couple already.  

No, we don't finish each other's sentences.  Nor have we begun to look alike.  We've discovered that we make a decent spaghetti carbonara together.  

Those who have attempted this dish discover very quickly that in order to avoid disaster, you must have two cooks in the kitchen.    

It's a culinary tango.

Spaghetti Carbonara

1/4 lb. of bacon,chopped (if you want to be truly authentic, substitute prosciutto)

1/2 TBSP chopped garlic

freshly ground black pepper

1/2 lb. of spaghetti, cooked al dente

2 large eggs, beaten

salt

1/2 C grated Parmigiano-Reggiano

1/2 TBSP parsley

In a large saute pan over medium heat, cook the bacon until crispy. Remove the bacon and drain on paper towels. Pour off all the bacon grease except for about 1 1/2 TBSP. Add the garlic. Season with black pepper.  Saute for 30 seconds.  Add the crispy bacon and the pasta.  Saute for 1 minute. Season the eggs with salt.  Remove the pan from the heat.

Now, the fun begins.

While one person tosses and stirs constantly, the other should slowly drizzle the egg over the pasta.  You must do this quickly in order to prevent the egg from scrambling.  Then while you continue tossing the pasta, have your culinary partner sprinkle the grated cheese a little at a time until thoroughly coated.  Re-season with salt and pepper to taste.  Garnish with parsley. 

Enjoy, Lady-and-the-Tramp style.

The 6 Best Years of My Life ... So Far.

  When my son was born six years ago today, it wasn't the fact that I didn't know the first thing about baby boys or their "parts" that concerned me.  Or that I was so exhausted after 13 hours of labor that I could hardly lift my head off the pillow to acknowledge his arrival. It was that after Steve had cut the cord and the nurses wrapped him in a blanket and placed him on my chest, I realized with alarm that he hadn't made a sound.  There was no lusty cry that accompanies the birth of a new baby.  Not even a whimper.

Not a peep.

He simply looked at me as if to say, "Well, hello there.  It's nice to finally meet you."

I was worried.  I asked my doctor what was wrong with him.  She looked at me like I'd lost my mind and said, "There's nothing wrong with him.  He's perfect.  He just doesn't know what all the fuss is about."

Do you know when he finally began to cry?

When the nurses took him from me.

He knew where he wanted to be and that was with me.  

And I with him.

And that's how it has been for 6 years now.

I'm hoping for at least another 60.

Kite Flying

Kite Flying - Tropical Storm Lee, a set on Flickr.

Is there anything better to do during a tropical storm???

I Love Me Some Chops.

We have this meal once a week because it is the one meal I KNOW my picky children will eat.  This is, by far, the best pork chop recipe I've ever had.  I know that in this health-conscious age frying intimidates a lot of people, so I like to offset the fried pork chops with roasted zucchini and couscous.   

Paneed Pork Chops

Thin cut boneless pork chops (trimmed of all fat)

1 egg, beaten

1/4 cup milk

1 tsp salt

1 tsp black pepper

1 TBSP parsley flakes

1/2 tsp rubbed sage

Italian seasoned bread crumbs

canola oil

In a bowl, whisk egg, milk, salt, pepper, parsley flakes, and rubbed sage until completely blended.  Put about 1/2" of oil in a large skillet and set it on medium-high heat.  Dip pork chops (one at a time) in the egg mixture and then dredge in the bread crumbs.  Turn over and over until completely coated.  Place chops in the hot oil.  Turn the chops over several times until nicely browned on both sides.  Place on a paper towel-lined plate to drain.  Serve with couscous and roasted herb zucchini.

Roasted Herb Zucchini

zucchini, cut into small spears

olive oil

Herbs de Provence 

salt

pepper

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  Wash zucchini well.  Cut into 4 pieces, then each piece into 4 spears.  Toss with olive oil.  Place on a cookie sheet.  Sprinkle generously with Herbs de Provence, salt and pepper.  Roast in the oven for approximately 20 to 25 minutes until soften.